8 Ways to Cope with Real-life Dementors


In the wizarding world of Harry Potter, there exists a race of wraith-like beings called Dementors. Dementors are nasty creatures that feed off of the sadness and despair of others. Their presence can cause people to lose hope and become depressed. And they will literally suck your soul out of your body, leaving you in a conscious yet vegetative state.

Dementors are fictional terrors who are threats only to people in the Harry Potter Series. There’s zero chance you’ll run into one of the creepy, black-cloaked figures on your way to work or home. But, there is the possibility that you’ll run into real-life Dementors.

Yes, they exist. They are real.

These are individuals who drain your energy anytime you interact with them. It could be a co-worker at your job or a neighbor up the street. The fact is that when you’re around these people, you become exhausted because of the effort it takes to tolerate their presence. By the time you’re done talking to them, your whole mood has changed. It’s gone from happy to sad. Optimistic to pessimistic. Hopeful to hopeless. Peaceful to combative. And untroubled to irritated. But how? Because real-life Dementors are deeply unhappy people who want others to be unhappy, too.

Real-life Dementors are never satisfied with anything in life. They see the worst-case scenario in every situation. They are glass-half-empty people who would rather complain than find actual solutions to the issues in their lives. These folks will create drama or conflicts where it is unnecessary. Real-life Dementors also tend to overwhelm you with stories where the world has failed them. And, they won’t hesitate to implicate you in this sinister plot. Because obviously, you haven’t been helpful or supportive enough while they experience their struggle. If you had, their quality of life would have improved, right?

Wrong. There is nothing you can do to satisfy a real-life Dementor. Nothing. And if you are typically a beacon of positive energy, you’ll be tempted to find fault in yourself because of their unhappiness. In fact, that might be why such a draining individual is attracted to you.

So how do you cope with real-life Dementors? How do you keep these miserable, predatory people from bringing out the worst in you when you’re feeling your best? Well, that’s simple. Just follow the tactics of experienced wizards, and you’ll be protected from these soul-suckers everywhere.

Here are 8 ways to cope with real-life Dementors.

1. Conjure a Patronus

The Patronus charm is a spell that wizards can use to shield themselves from the effects of the Dementor. It’s executed when a magic maker thinks of happy thoughts that have a strong meaning. Powerful spellcasters can summon a Patronus in the form of an animal that best represents them. You can take the concept of this spell and use it to create a positive energy shield in the presence of a real-life Dementor with certain thoughts and behavior. Smile. Laugh. Hug. Crack a joke. Tell a heartwarming story. Internalize things that make you happy even in the midst of the external crap the real-life Dementor is shoveling your way. Counteract their negative vibe with your Patronus animal, and you’ll leave the interaction in a good mood.

2. Take an Animagus Form

Potter-lore tells us that Dementors have a hard time registering the emotions of wizards when they change into animal forms because Animagus emotions are less complex. The human in you will want to offer advice and help someone even when she demonstrates Dementor-like tendencies. This is where you have to say no to the people part, and embrace the inner critter. Animals don’t care about human problems. So act like it. Do not attempt to help a real-life Dementor with their issues. They will find a thousand excuses why your suggestions won’t work because being miserable drives them. Instead, let the animal in you be unbothered. There is much less energy for the real-life Dementor to feed off of when you do this. Listen. Nod. Drop a some “mmhmm’s” here and there. But don’t put your energy into helping them solve their problems.

3. Activate your Resurrection Stone

The Resurrection Stone was a legendary item in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that most wizards thought was just a trinket in a myth. But, it actually existed. The person who possessed the stone had the ability to bring the dead back to the world of the living in a spirit-based, non-zombie kind of form. In book 7 of the Harry Potter Series, the boy who lived brings back four key figures who were important to him. They were his motivational team as he made his way to face Lord Voldemort. And they were his support team when Dementors came to attack him. You don’t have to experience soul-suckers alone. When you are dealing with real-life Dementors, assemble a team of friends and family who can motivate and support you and each other in the presence of evil. Does a Work Dementor have you stuck in the employee lounge alone listening to how much their job sucks? Be sure to have an ally co-worker you can text to come and rescue you. Is your Friend Dementor being persistent about spending time together for the purpose of complaining about how her life is a huge disappointment? Make plans to hang out with your entire crew so that you all can deflect her dark wraith ways with positive, girl power awesomeness. Remember that you don’t have to do this by yourself. There is strength in numbers against real-life Dementors.

4. Ask What Would Dumbledore Do (WWDD)

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore had a pretty solid stance when it came to dealing with Dementors: Avoid them at all cost. When Dementors were dispatched to Hogwarts after Sirius Black escaped the wizard prison Azkaban, the headmaster made it clear to students that they should steer clear of these floating joy destroyers. While this might sound like a pretty sweet tactic for dealing with real-life Dementors, it might not be feasible. There is the possibility that you must encounter your Dementor because of proximity or relations. If this is the case, try to figure a way to minimize contact. Give people the time you think you can manage when interacting with you. Is it 5 minutes? Is it 5 hours? You determine that and enforce it by setting boundaries. Enforce those boundaries no matter what. For Dumbledore, the Dementors entering Hogwarts crossed the line. For you, crossing the line might be a Dementor-like neighbor popping up at your home without calling first. So, tell her not to do it. The affected person might be annoyed by this, but she’ll oblige because she wants access to you. The Quaffle is in your court. Throw it well.

5. Embrace the Power of Chocolate

In the Harry Potter Series, chocolate has a medicinal use against Dementors. It’s a short-term solution that helps victims bounce back and recover from a soul-sucking exposure. The power of chocolate might actually be sufficient enough to help you recover from real-life Dementors. But for those of you who aren’t chocolate fans, there is something else that can help. Participate in an activity that makes you happy immediately after your encounter. It could be cooking a tasty dish, playing a video game, or taking an impromptu trip to the movies. The key here is to distract yourself from whatever darkness the real-life Dementor brought into your world. That requires doing something that takes focus so you aren’t sitting around lamenting over someone else’s problems. Don’t get stuck in a Dementor influenced funk. You do you and enjoy life in the process.

6. Avoid the Dark Arts

Dementors are allies to wizards who practice the Dark Arts by design because evil attracts evil. During the Second Wizarding War, these predatory fiends joined Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters to fight against the good guys. This is a telling quality since the Ministry of Magic had employed the Dementors as guards of the wizard prison Azkaban for several hundred years. There was no loyalty to the people who’d allowed the soul-suckers to feed and breed. They went with the team that promised the largest population of victims to prey on. So always remember that real-life Dementors have no loyalty to you even when you support their plight. They will lull you into a false sense of security because you seem to be an ally, and then throw you under the bus when it suits them. Additionally, managing a real-life Dementor will deplete your reserve of sunshine leaving you vulnerable to wickedness. When you are lured to the Dark Arts, your mood will begin to mirror a Dementor around the people who actually contribute to the joy and happiness in your life. If you notice any of these trends, it’s time to consider taking some tough love approaches with your real-life Dementor that will bring you back into the light.

7. Do the Sirius Black Solution

Sirius Black was a smart dude. Not only did he take an Animagus shape in Azkaban to trick Dementors, but he also directed his human thoughts into topics that gave Dementors less to feed on. For example, he focused on the fact that he was wrongly imprisoned while the real criminal was still on the loose. These types of thoughts gave him the strength to resist the effects of the Dementors and maintain his sanity. You can achieve the same result by minimizing any discussion of good news in your life with real-life Dementors. Because there is a good chance that they won’t be happy or supportive. I mean, they might muster up some praise-worthy or congratulatory words. But, it probably won’t be a genuine sentiment. In fact, it might actually cause them more reason to hate life and resent you because why aren’t you suffering like them? The really salty real-life Dementors will find all things negative about anything positive that you have going on. So save yourself the trouble and keep it to yourself.

8. Project a Boggart

Professor Remus Lupin used a boggart to help Harry Potter learn how to cast a Patronus spell against Dementors. A boggart is a being with no shape or form who takes on the appearance of a wizard’s worst fears. The way to defeat a boggart is to use the Riddikulus charm to change it into something harmless. Like in the case of Ron Weasley, whose fear of spiders generated a giant tarantula. To make the spider harmless, Ron added roller skates to all of the creature’s feet, rendering the arachnid helpless as it unsuccessfully tried to stay upright. It was a humorous sight. Harry was never in any real danger fighting the boggart Dementors because the shapeshifters have only a fraction of the power of whatever being they project. You can use this tactic when dealing with real-life Dementors by reducing them to something harmless, funny, or insignificant. It’s much easier to have a relationship with someone toxic when you realize they have no power or authority over how you feel. You are in control. Not them.

Hopefully, this article has given you some solid tips for dealing with real-life Dementors. You’ll probably need to employ a combination of these tactics depending on the frequency and severity of the situation. The most important thing to remember is that other people’s problems are not yours to own. It’s far better to maintain your happiness and sanity by taking ownership of the things you care about most. Do this, and your goodness will defeat evil every time.

Do you have some tips for dealing with real-life Dementors that give results? Please share in the comments below. Also, tell the Nerdylicious Brigade about your charms. What is your Patronus animal? What would be your Animagus? How would you make your greatest fear into something harmless? I look forward to reading your responses.


  1. This was exquisitely written and can be immediately applied to a person I am unfortunately living with. I choose to see the positives of this though: if a dementor of such a degree can be survived now, I will be an expert in defeating their devourment of joy and can help myself and others for the rest of my life! I can’t wait to re-read Harry Potter now I am an adult. The darkness is so much more apparent in a way that just can’t be understood as a child, for good reason!


    • Thanks so much for the compliment. I hope at some point you can get out of your soul-sucking situation. But in the meantime, just keep having those positive thoughts and put your energy into things that will make you happy, like re-reading Harry Potter. Also, my son’s name is Gavin so I am loving yours. 🙂


  2. Wow! Great article.. I started reading because I really wanted to see if I was dealing with a dementor, and and as I kept reading I feel I might be turning into one myself !

    Any tips for dementors to become happier?


    • I’m glad you enjoyed the article. I would say that recognizing that you’re becoming a dementor is a great step in the right direction. My advice would be to learn how to give events in your life a positive spin. For example, if you had a bad day at work, maybe figure out something positive you learned from the experience that will help you in the future. Next, think about the things that make you unhappy, and determine the things you can change and can’t change. Then come up with two plans. The first plan would be for things you can change. Don’t be afraid to make those changes. If excuses are holding you back, let them go. The other plan is for things you can’t change. List ways you can cope with life when the things you can’t change get you down. And last, always try to put positive energy out in the universe. What you give is what you get. I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.